Most tips for new mums are focused on the baby, and there’s certainly a lot to learn, especially if you’re a first-time mum. However, one of the biggest lessons I’ve learned is that you can’t take care of your baby if you don’t take care of yourself! Here are my top tips for new mums.

1. Lower your expectations. I’m a big planner, but when you’ve got a newborn, all that goes out the window – and you need to learn to be okay with it. Accept that you might not get all your housework done, you’ll get random messes everywhere, and you may not bounce back to your pre-pregnancy weight as fast as you’d like to avoid disappointment.

2. Stick to easy meals that you can prepare in under half an hour. Don’t pressure yourself to make the same fancy meals you might have cooked pre-baby. Instead, go for quick meals until you find your footing and adjust to this new way of life. If you manage to cook more than one portion, freeze it, and don’t cook everyday. I know I talk about this all the time, but it is too rewarding not to mention!

3. Say yes to help. As hard as it can be to accept help, this is the time to say yes to everyone who offers, whether it’s babysitting or a cooked meal. People like being helpful, so you can think of it as you doing them a favour, too! In light of the current situation this is not as easy as it was a few weeks ago – but your partner can definitely chip in to watch the baby while you get some rest in, and cooked meals may still be delivered to your doorstep 😉

4. Trust your gut. Everyone will be throwing in their two cents on everything related to your baby, whether you ask them to or not. It can be incredibly stressful to hear so much unsolicited advice, especially when a lot of it is contradictory. Just smile and nod, and then do what you feel is best. Remember: you’re the only person in the world who has a maternal instinct for your baby.

5. Go outside. This is one I don’t see listed a lot, but a little bit of fresh air can go incredibly far. You know how great it feels to just lie on the beach and let the sun hit your body? That might not be happening too often in the first year (and especially right now), but you should make a point of heading outdoors each day for a bit of vitamin D-boosting sunshine. Even if you just go sit in your yard in a chair, you’d be surprised how much a little bit of daylight can boost your mood.

6. Don’t Google everything. We have more information at out fingertips than ever before, but not all of it is good – and some of it is downright scary. I’m not saying you should never look things up online, but I find I worry a lot less when I save questions for the pediatrician rather than asking alarmist Dr. Google.

7. Sleep when the baby sleeps. This is one of those tips for mums that pops up everywhere and for good reason – if there’s one thing new mums need most, it’s more sleep, and there really is no better time to do it than when your baby is asleep. Forget about catching up on work emails or vacuuming and head for your bed, at least for one naptime! 

8. Talk about your feelings. You’re going to feel a rush of emotions, both good and bad, and sometimes even all at once. It’s a lot for anyone to handle. Talk to your partner, a friend, a family member, or even write about your feelings in a journal. Just the act of putting your feelings into words can make them a lot easier to deal with.

9. Try to have a routine. While you need to lower your expectations for sure, it can be helpful to have some semblance of a routine. It should be very loose, of course, because babies are unpredictable, but even something as simple as showering every morning and sitting down with a cup of tea every afternoon can give some comforting structure to your days.

10. Enjoy your baby. I know enjoyment is the furthest thing from your mind during those late-night crying sessions, but try to stop and smell the roses every now and then. The days may be long, but trust me, it all goes so fast and soon you’ll long for the days when you could cuddle with your baby.

Putting your baby first might be a classic mum move, but remember to find time for yourself – even if it is just a few minutes here and there at first! Think of it this way: you’ll be a better mum for it!