I’m about to get real with ‘work life balance’ as they call it…

As a mum, you’ve got a lot on your plate. Taking care of your kids, managing their busy schedules and ensuring they’re fed and happy is a huge task all on its own, but when you throw a job into the mix, it can be hard to even find time to brush your teeth, much less actually enjoy life. 

Whether you’re a high-powered executive or you’ve got a relatively undemanding job, you’re probably burned out more often than not, and you might be feeling kind of guilty about the amount of time you can devote to your children.

The good news? You’re not alone. This juggling act is so common that “work life balance” has become a buzzword. There are lots of opinions on the matter, but I want to tell you something that may save you a lot of heartache: there really is no perfect balance. That may sound discouraging on the surface, but it’s actually quite freeing. 

In other words, don’t pursue some magical ratio – you won’t find one. 

Don’t compare yourself to others

Your ideal work life balance is something that is very personal. Sometimes experts set a target ratio, but this is not a one-size-fits-all proposition. Your own ideal balance will be different from that of your friends, co-workers, and family members – and it can even change from day to day or year to year.

Instead of thinking of it like a balance, aim for just reaching a point where you feel like you’re content with your live overall, enjoying life away from work while still being successful on the job. Sometimes there’s going to be more in column or the other, but as long as you feel right, don’t worry if it doesn’t fit into some formula.

Think about it: everyone’s circumstances are unique. How many hours a week you work, how far away your office is, the ages of your children, your partner’s schedule, and many other factors will influence the demands on your time.

Personality also comes into play; some of us just need a lot more “me” time than others do – and time to yourself is often the first thing busy mums give up.

How to find (and make peace with) your own balance (shall we call it work life balance?)

Here are some tips for balancing your work and family life while still carving out some time for yourself.

Get some help 

You may have a lot to get done, but that doesn’t mean you have to do it all yourself. Ask your spouse to take turns doing the dishes or bringing the kids to birthday parties, consider hiring a cleaning service, let your parents babysit the kids sometimes, and ask your children to help with age-appropriate chores like folding laundry or setting and clearing the table.

And keep in mind that everything doesn’t have to be perfect – your kids would rather you play a board game with them than mop the floors every day!

Don’t feel guilty

One of the best things you can do for yourself is ditch the mum guilt. The fact that you’re even reading this and thinking about striking the right balance means you’re a caring parent, and your children will pick up on this no matter how much time you spend with them.

When you’re feeling bad that you have to answer your boss’s email while your daughter is waiting for you to play Monopoly Junior with her, try to frame it more positively. Think about how your career benefits your family, perhaps by earning the money needed for her expensive piano lessons or all those fun holidays you take together.

Prioritise yourself

You know how they tell you on planes to put your own breathing mask on first in an emergency before helping those seated near you? You have to take care of yourself or you won’t be able to take care of your family.

Make time for exercise, even if you have to combine it with another activity. For example, you could walk or jog laps around the field while your son has football practice. Ignore the pile of clothes that needs ironed once in a while and meet up with your friends for coffee or watch a good TV programme instead. 

Remember, self-care is just as important as taking care of your kids, partner and professional commitments. Taking care of yourself helps you be a better mum, worker, and partner.