Back-to-school issues: Dealing with an unhappy child

Excitement ran high and your hopes were sky high. Your child went off to school as happy as a lark, but to your utter dismay his first words when he came back from day 1 were ‘I don’t want to go back’.

Don’t worry – you’re not alone. I’ve been there myself; there have been one or two years where things didn’t go as smoothly as I hoped.

So, how should you handle the situation?

First off, don’t react so suddenly. If you’re anything like me, you will probably cry your eyes out in the bedroom when the kids are occupied. Then you will call your husband or your best friend and cry some more. Chocolate is on the cards, because what better way to de-stress than pigging out on your favourite chocolate bar?

Instead, try and think of the positives. It will get better. This situation is very common. Starting school after a long summer is an adjustment, and can take some time to get used to. Throw in a new teacher, new classmates, different procedures and subjects…does it sound daunting to you?

There are a few things you can do to help your child cope. Read on…

Stay upbeat

Do not give your child more reason to be anxious. Show your concern, but do not let your child catch on to your anxiety. Be positive, understanding and supportive.
Communicate – but don’t go overboard

Talk to your child about the situation and let him know that you are there for him. A constant stream of questions on daily basis will not help however. Instead, talk about feelings, and let the child you are open for more conversation only if they are up to it. Say things like ‘you look a bit sad today after a day at school’ or ‘you looked worried this morning when we arrived at the school gates’.
Speak to the child’s teacher

Before you alarm yourself, make an appointment with the teacher and have a little chat. Ask her if your child is happy at school. Personally, I have experienced a situation where my son was clinging to me with tears in his eyes on a daily basis, only to hop, skip and jump the second I was out of sight. All he needed was a little extra TLC from mama. You might get a totally different perspective from your child’s teacher. In the event that your child is as unhappy at school as he has voiced, discuss with your child’s teacher and find ways to make it better.
Send a little something

Pack something special in your child’s bag to make their day a little brighter. It can be a photo of a pet, a photo of the family, a little food treat, or even lunchbox notes.
Have something to look forward to

Everyday, plan a to organise something to look forward to after school. Keep it simple, as kids tend to be very tired after a long day. Each morning, excitedly talk of your plans for after school with your little one. Plan to make their favourite after-school snack, read a new book, play dress up, or cuddle on the sofa and watch some TV. Remind your child of your plans together as you arrive at the school gates.
Re-think your routine

Make sure your child is getting enough rest. Move his bedtime backwards and see if he improves. You might want to try starting your day 30 minutes earlier too. A little extra attention never hurt anyone. If your child gets anxious at dropoff, consider arriving 15 minutes earlier to avoid the rush.
Speak to a friend

Have a heart to heart with a close friend. You will surely feel so much better after pouring your heart out and hearing some assuring comments.

Has your child ever struggled at school?

I’ve been there myself, and I know it can be heartbreaking. Thankfully, support from school, friends, and the tips I’ve shared made it all better.

If you have stories or tips to share I’d love to hear from you! Leave your comment below or come and chat on my Facebook page.